Rèmy and Tutu

July 8, 2012 § Leave a comment

Today I took  my father to see Rèmy at Manukau Memorial Gardens. He wasn’t here for the funeral, but was fortuitously transiting through Auckland on a trip from Fiji to Tahiti this week. It was really, really good to see him. We talked for a long time around Rèmy’s final resting place – about anchoring, symbolic gestures, about time and change. My father has lost his mother, father, brother and step-mother in my lifetime. We talked about death.

Losing Rèmy has made me re-evaluate my relationship with death. Spending time at Manukau Memorial Gardens has made me feel at ease with death – good people die, babies die, everyone dies – grief, sadness, mourning and pain are part of a process that affects every single person. I feel a sense of relief that I have deepened my relationship with death. And this experience has deepened my relationship with my family.

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