I became a hopeless drifter

October 14, 2012 § Leave a comment

When Rèmy died I played this song on repeat. I know when I’m doing well when this comes on Shuffle and I don’t cry.

But on dark days, listening to sad songs is slow torture. On dark days, I could drown in my tears. Then I imagine letting go of the tension in my body and in my mind, and visualise floating in the ocean. My tears become part of the sea and I am balanced.

I’m fighting not to become a hopeless drifter.

The grief changes. When I think ‘I miss you‘, I’m starting to think it’s more and more about missing stability… sanity, groundedness.

These are some dark days.

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading I became a hopeless drifter at Losing Rèmy.

meta

%d bloggers like this: